the questions have changed

The main facts in human life are five: birth, food, sleep, love and death.

- E. M. Forster

Samsara:   In Buddhism and Hinduism, the endless round of birth, death, and rebirth to which all conditioned beings are subject

.... that these constants dominate our every day -  birth, in that Nikhil is still a newborn, and totally dependent.  food, in that he is always, upon waking, hungry and can think of nothing but food.  sleep, in that he does so whenever he is through thinking about eating and has had a good poop.  love, because he is, without a doubt, already the recipient of much of it, and without even trying, inspires his mother and i to show more of it towards each other (and others...).   - the omnipresence of death, the passing on of one generation and the emergence of the next...  karma, rebirth...  who knows?

ABN -  Alvaro before Nikhil:   alternately resigned nihilist, hedonist,  ..  is there meaning outside of what meaning we create, what is life about, why do we exist, why so much suffering, is life anything but an attempt to escape from suffering (hence, pleasure seeking)...who am i, we are all but grains of sand in the universe...far be it from me to think myself any different, better, worse than the next fellow...etc etc... it is our imaginations that occasionally provide us a window into the true nature of being, if such a truth exists...   

AAN - ALvaro after Nikhil:    what can I do on this earth, in this lifetime, during the years that I have remaining, to make life better for my son? How can I live my life, from the moment i wake up to the moment i fall asleep,  so that my example leaves nothing to be desired? How will I look through the eyes of my son when he is at the prime of his life – will he strive to learn from me, from all those who have years beyond his, or will he gain from his own experience a wisdom that is beyond what I possess, and be a greater man than I ever was?   the imagination still reigns supreme.

… … that Nikhil be spared the most difficult lessons I have faced, but gain from my experience and wisdom, what there is of it.   This way, he might take off from a new platform - he can begin where I, with my myriad of limitations, left off.   His life can be simplified...  his understanding greater than my own - of a higher order than my own... his questions, more to the heart of things.... his contribution to society profound...  how to raise such a man?   cultivate the imagination through arts, travel...a love of literature...  garner respect for all things living, understand the difference between  deference and submission...

i think to myself -  i am the same person.... but my motivations for living, loving, caring and simply being, have changed.  i am a better man.   wiser?  doubtful, but there is still time.......

if every day i wake up and think what i can do for him.... then, what i can do for my wife... then, what i can do to better myself...   perhaps this is what it means, making the world a better place one person at a time.